We are 4 weeks into the BOMP season. Check out last weeks action and see how all 10 teams stand after 4 games.
The Commodore 64’s beat the NFA Crew in an Instant Classic???
The Commodore 64’s beat the NFA Crew in an Instant Classic???
The Commodores only scored 3 more points than their name
indicates, but still managed to defeat the NFA Crew 67-66. This game is being
touted as thee worst fantasy football game of all time despite the close score.
Let this game be a reminder to every one of the importance of staying sober at
the draft. In the most anticipated Tight End match up of the week, Jimmy Graham
out-dueled Greg Olsen....29 yards to 28 yards….Charles Clay still available for
trade people!
Man of the Match:
Famous Jameis – 287 Yds, 2 TD, 4 INTS?? – 20 Points
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| I'm just big boned... |
Dud of the Match:
Greg Olsen – 2 catches, 28 yards. Last week you were the man of the match and were
compared to Thor. This week you just look like a drunk Phillip Seymour Hoffman
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| Duck? Is that you? |
Worst GM Move of the
Match: PTiggy starting Lamar Miller
over anyone in the NFL. Seriously, give it up, he is not good.
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| I am completely useless |
The Commodore 64’s Early
Season Review:
The Commodores have somehow managed a 2-2 start despite
scoring a league low 319 points through 4 weeks. The league low in points is
partially in part to PTiggy’s QB woes. The Tom Brady - Jordan Matthews trade
seems to have been a complete loss for the Commodores, as Brady is back in 2007
form and Jordan Matthews can’t catch anything cross-eyed Ryan Reynolds is
throwing.
Big Ben was lighting up the league, but his leg fell off, leaving PTiggy with the unproven Derrick Carr at the helm of the Commodores. PTiggy’s also keeps trotting Lamar Miller out there, and keeps getting rewarded with 3 points every week. After 4 weeks, Miller has 18 points. After 4 weeks, 27 Kickers have 19 points or more. Advice for the Commodore, enact an executive decision to allow your team to start multiple kickers. Perhaps you can add this guy from waivers??
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| And you thought Nick Foles was goofy looking |
Big Ben was lighting up the league, but his leg fell off, leaving PTiggy with the unproven Derrick Carr at the helm of the Commodores. PTiggy’s also keeps trotting Lamar Miller out there, and keeps getting rewarded with 3 points every week. After 4 weeks, Miller has 18 points. After 4 weeks, 27 Kickers have 19 points or more. Advice for the Commodore, enact an executive decision to allow your team to start multiple kickers. Perhaps you can add this guy from waivers??
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| This picture was taken yesterday at the NovaCare Complex |
The NFA Crew Early
Season Review:
Through 4 weeks, Craig finds himself in last place of the
BOMP league. The 72$ Man, Calvin Johnson, has been a huge waste of money so far
in 2015. Megatron is the 37th ranked WR through 4 weeks. Notable WRs
who have scored more points than Megatron: Darius Heyward-Bey, Rishard Matthew,
Lucas.
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| Throw it to Lucas! |
The FABFC Defeats the Meat Wallets
In a battle of divisional rivals and celebrity look-a-likes,
The Gaffigans took on the Wahlbergs Cable Guys. Once again, when Green
Bay struggles, so do the Meat Wallets. A A Ron Rodgers only outscored Tyrod
Taylor by 1 Point in Week 4, which ultimately cost the Meat Wallets any chance of
competing against the Shoish babies.
Man of the Match:
LeVeon Bell 129 Yards, TD - 23 points
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| Smokes Pot, still has an 8 pack |
Dud of the Match:
Houston Defense – 48 points allowed, 2 points…
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| Matt Schaub is not impressed |
Worst GM Move of the Match:
Not that any of the bad moves mattered in this match up, but Carlos Hyde
continues to not get the ball due to the fact that San Fran is trailing by 30
in the first quarter of every game. David Johnson would have been a better flex
play for this week.
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| Hes gettin tackled in the backfield, hes snatching yo fantasy points up |
The Meat Wallets Early
Season Review:
If not for a miraculous Aaron Rodgers, Randall Cobb and
Mason Crosby performance last Monday night, the meat wallets would be sitting
at 1-3. Instead, they are at 2-2 and trying to hold on to the third playoff
spot in the Cottman division. CJ Anderson has been a huge problem for JR, as he
was supposed to be a stud RB1. Instead, he is about to lose his job to Ronnie
Hillman and has left JR picking up all of Jenkins sloppy seconds at RB off the
waiver wire. Demariyus Thomas has also been slightly disappointing, as he is
the 18th ranked WR through 4 weeks. This is partially due to the
fact that Peyton Manning looks like he is about to drop dead on every drop
back. JR has always had a risky roster composition, with a lot of his weekly points
coming from Green Bay and Denver. With Denver struggling offensively (compared
to years past), all of Johns hopes ride with Green Bay scoring 40 points a
week, which may lead to another 2-2 stretch over the next 4 games.
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| Take your ass down to O Shag Hennesys Office right now! |
The FABFC Early
Season Review:
The 2-time Defending Champs are off to a 4-0 start despite
the fact that both Tony Romo and Dez Bryant have been out a majority of the
season. Tyrod Taylor has come in and help keep the ship steady, but the FABFC
is really being steered by the play off Rob Gronkowski (1st overall
TE) and Jamaal Charles (2nd overall RB). The return of LeVeon Bell
has also helped the champs stay on top so far in 2015, as after 2 games, Bell
is already the 15th highest scoring RB. The big challenge for the
FABFC over the next 4 games will be managing depth while bye weeks hit. The Flex
spot and WR 2 spot have been iffy so far, and if the FABFC is vulnerable anywhere,
it is these positions. Also, Houston’s Defense….WTF JJ Watt. Look for Houston’s
D to be a free agent very shortly.
Kiwk-e-Mart Gougers defeat the Honey Badgers
In the battle of House Darrah, Forrest takes down Mike D 85-61.
The Red Rocket led Forrest to victory despite scoring the fewest points of The
Gougers 3 QBs. Mike D seems to have some RBs issues, as the tandem of Sproles
and McFadden, not surprisingly, only posted 4 points. Newly signed kicker Marty
Franks had a bad showing for the Gougers. Rumor has it he bet 400$ that the Washington
Generals would beat the Globetrotters, and then drank himself into a stooper
and passed out in Leneghans. He was quoted as saying “I thought they were due….Come
on Ref, they are using a friggin ladder!!” (Note – I am assuming everyone knows
who Marty Franks is…Probably not the case, but hey, I know him, and this makes
me laugh)
Man of the Match:
Chris Ivory – 166 Yards, 1 TD – 25 Points
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| Why do I look like a darker version of Nayman from the Wire Season 4? |
Dud of the Match:
Roddy White – 0 anything once again
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| R.I.P Roddy White's NFL Career |
Worst GM Move of the
Match: The 18 point difference between Brees and Manning would have made
this a much closer game. But this award goes to Forrest for starting Rishard
Matthews. It was bad enough the Dolphins were facing Revis and Cromartie in a game
across the Atlantic Ocean, but the head coach actually had to ask the practice
squad players to take it easy on Ryan Tannehill because he is such a terrible
QB. Starting anyone on Miami right now is a disaster waiting to happen.
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| ZOINKS!! |
Kiwk-e-Mart Gougers Early Season Review:
The Gougers sit alone on top of the Frankford division after
4 weeks with a 3-1 record. This may be all smoke and mirrors however, as the
Gougers have an absurdly low 279 points against, which is 46 points less than
the second lowest total of 325. Chris Ivory has had a nice start to 2015,
ranking as the 6th overall RB so far. Andy Dalton is the 2nd
overall QB despite having red hair. Forrest has some pieces in place to keep
his lead in the underperforming Frankford division, especially if Todd Gurley
can consistently deliver. Julius Thomas is also nearly back from his finger injury
which has kept him out of the lineup all season. Look for the Gougers to stay
near the top of the division, but also look for some of that luck in the points
against department to run out.
Honey Badgers Early
Season Review:
The Honey Badgers sit at 2-2 after 4 weeks despite making
major moves in the offseason. Bringing in Peyton Manning and LeSean McCoy has
not panned out for the Badgers, as McCoy is injured/stinks, and Manning is looking
really really old. Signing Drew Brees hasn’t panned out either, and it looks
like the days of Brees and Manning dominating Fantasy are long gone. There is a
bright side for Mike D, as he has Cam Newton on his bench, who is the 4th
ranked QB after 4 weeks. Perhaps it is time to hand over the reins of the Badgers
to Newton? The Badgers also have 2 of the top 5 WRs so far in Antonio Brown and
Brandon Marshall, but Browns production may continue to slip with the absence
of Big Ben. Also, for some unknown reason, Mike D keeps starting Roddy White
(See Tiggy, P - Analysis of crappy Lamar Miller earlier in this post). The
Falcons are scoring a ton of points, but aren’t even looking in Whites
direction. The Honey Badgers, while still a threat in the Frankford division,
need to start with a youth movement and let go some of these old fantasy standbys.
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| Bunny Ears! |
MBJ beats No ACLS
Usually when Poos and blowout are in the same sentence, it
has to do with one of his players knees. In this case, it was a whooping MBJ
put down on the ACLs, 118-57. Devonte Freeman became the first player in NFL
history to score 6 TDs in his first 2 starts. Justin Tucker scored 15 points,
which was more than anyone on Poos team managed to score. Arian Foster returned
to action for Poos, but I am pretty sure he is already hurt again.
Man of the Match:
Phillip Rivers, 358 Yds, 3 TDs – 35 Points
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| I didn't even Photoshop this, but Fat Asian Baby and Rivers is fantastic! |
Dud of the Match:
Matt Jones, 11 Yds - 1 point
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| I think Jenkins meant to add this Matt Jones |
Worst GM Move of the
Match: Poos has a bench with one healthy player on it, and he outscored
anyone on the entire starting lineup. Ronnie Hillman went for 103 Yards and a TD,
good for 19 points.
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| Its ok, I play for Poos, my foot pointing at the sky is normal |
MBJ Early Season
Review:
If not for a ridiculous Aaron Rodgers/Randall Cobb Monday
night game, MBJ would be 4-0 and sitting in first place. Though he was ridiculed
at the draft for having 66$ in cap space left over, MBJ has silenced all his
critics thus far. MBJ leads the league in points with 496, 46 more than the
FABFC, who rank second with 450. Julio
Jones is the # 1 WR, Larry Fitzgerald is the # 2 WR, and Deandre Hopkins is the
# 4 WR. These three players, along with
good QB play from Rivers and Ryan (7th and 8th ranked QBS)
has made most of MBJs games blowouts. The only chink in the armor is the RB
position. Although Devante Freeman is the top ranked RB through 4 weeks, he is not
going to score 3 TDs every week, and will most likely come down to earth
quickly. If Matt Jones, Dion Lewis and Freeman can be at least halfway decent
players the rest of the way, MBJ might make a deep run this season.
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| I don't know what Devante Freeman looks like, but you just read this in Morgan Freeman's voice |
No ACLs Early Season
Review:
Pretty much everyone in the media predicted a tough year for
the ACLs. While Poos’ bold strategy of drafting players on IR makes his team a
threat to get low score every week (2 out of 4 weeks so far), it hasn’t been
the disaster in the standings most were expecting. This is mainly due to the
amount of low scoring rosters in the Frankford division. Matthew Stafford has
been quite pedestrian so far in 2015, and if Poos is going to score big points,
he will need his QB to be better than the 24th overall guy. Ryan
Fitzpatrick, Jameis Winston and Kirk Cousins all have more points than
Stafford, and none of those guys have Megatron to throw to. The only player Poos has currently ranked in
the top ten for their position is the Cardinals Defense, which ranks 2nd
overall. If Stafford gets better, and Arian Foster can get back on the field
and be somewhat productive, Poos may sneak into the third playoff spot in the
Frankford division.
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| Twins! |
Halls Mentho Lyptus defeats The Flying Murphin
Starting Mike Vick at QB is never a good sign for your real
life football team or your fantasy football team. Both the Steelers and Murphin
found that out this week, as both lost big games they needed to win. Hall Mentho
Lyptus Penetrating Vapors got their first victory of the season, led by Carson
Palmer and Jeremy Hill. Hallsy finally
got some production from his RB’s, which ultimately led him to victory. Murphin
will get Tom Brady back this week, so expect Mike Vick to never see another
down of fantasy football this season (hopefully…)
Man of the Match:
Jeremy Hill – 40 yds, 3 TDS – 24 Points
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| Me and Paul do this dance way better |
Dud of the Match:
Brandon Cooks, 4 catches, 25 yards - 2 points
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| I am terrible, but at least I am happy |
Worst GM Move of the
Match: Justin Forsett finally has a breakout game, and he is on Hallsy’s
bench. With 150 yards and 18 points, the move didn’t alter the outcome.
Hopefully for Hallsy this means Forsett is back to being productive.
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| I gained more than 4 yards on a carry...Praise Jesus! |
The Flying Murphin
Early Season Review:
Though the Murphins are third in the league in scoring with
401 Points, they are tied for last in the Cottman Division with a 1-3 record. The
Murphins do however lead the league in one category….Points Against. Teams have
averaged a whopping 117 Points while playing against Pat, which is why his
record looks as bad as it does. In Contrast, the Kwik-e-Mart Gougers are only
having opponents score 70 points aginst them per week so far. Murphin made some
key moves so far this year, essentially trading Peyton Manning and LeSean McCoy
for Adrian Peterson and Tom Brady. Where the Murphins have struggled is WR and
the second RB position. ODB Jr is only ranked as the 18th WR right
now, while TY Hilton has missed most of the season with injury. The RB trio of
Melvin Gordon, Alfred Morris and Jonathan Stewart has failed to light up the
scoreboard so far this season. If The Murphins can sure up that leaky defense
and stop throwing the ball behind them, they are sure to improve on their slow
start to the 2015 season and push for a playoff spot.
Halls Mentho Lytpus Early Season Review:
Hallsy sits at 1-3 and in last place in the Cottman division
after 4 weeks. However, Hallsy currently ranks as the fifth highest scoring team,
so not all hope is lost. The first 4 weeks have been up and down for Team
Lyptus, with Jeremy Hill, Eddie Lacy and Justin Forsett each underperforming or
getting injured. If week 4 is any indication, all 3 may have turned it around,
which would be a great benefit to Hallsy moving forward. Hallsy managed a smart move early on by snagging
up Carson Palmer before Poos could add him to the ACL squad. Palmer ranks as
the 2nd overall QB so far, averaging 28 points per game, and has
been the most consistent of the QBS thus far. The biggest question mark for
Hallsy for the rest of the season will be WR, as Brandon Cooks and Jarvis
Landry have hugely disappointed. James Jones has helped stabilize this position
for now, but Hallsy needs a second WR threat to be able to pull himself out of
the 1-3 hole he is in. Look for Hallsy to make a move for Clifford Franklin in
the upcoming weeks.
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| Coach, it looks like I jacked off an elephant! |
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