Week 2 Preview and Predictions

Week 2 is here...well, it is technically already underway. Check out this weeks match-ups and predictions.

Fat Asian Baby Football Club Vs Kwik-E-Mart Gougers

I should write this before Thursdays games I guess...but who has the time? Duck leads Forrest 28-20 going into Sundays match-ups. ESPN s predicting a 102-100 win for the FABFC, but a lot of that depends on weather or not Tony Romo can put up stats with Dez Bryant sidelined while he is in jail with a broken foot. Forrest is starting two Cowboys this week, so if Romo sucks, chances are Witten and Randle will suck as well. Forrest is also starting Andre Johnson, but luckily for Duck this isn't 2009.

PREDICTIONS:
Winner: Duck (FYI Duck will be predicted to win every matchup this season)
Man of the Match: Sam Bradford - Chip Kelly will throw 74 times. Bradford's longest pass attempt is still only 12 yards
Worst Performer: Andre Johnson - Revis Island shuts him out, forces him to grow blonde mustache and join witness protection agency??

Not sure what is going on in this picture...

Charleston NFA Crew Vs Honey Badgers

ESPN is calling for a NFA win 111-98. Andrew Luck and DeMarco Murray will be better this week, but so will Drew Brees. I think this one will be closer than expected, mainly due to Brees going up against that terrible TB Defense. TB made Money Bag Jenkins spend 25% of his bankroll on a rookie QB, so I expect Brees to put up huge numbers Sunday. I think Megatron still struggles, as does Mike Evans coming off injury, which will leave the door open for the Honey Badgers to steal a win.

PREDICTIONS:
Winner: Honey Badger
Man of the Match: Drew Brees throws for 5 TDS and 350 plus yards. Paul cries afterwards
Worst Performer: LaGarrette Blount gets no room to run against the Bills D

Bills D can suck this D

No ACLs vs The Commodore 64's

ESPN has this one for PTiggy in a landslide, 107-84. Poos still has a roster with 14 players on IR, so I am not even sure how he is trotting out a full lineup. Ptiggy does have a few questions in his lineup, with Amari Cooper and Matt Forte facing tough defenses. Poos' roster just doesn't look good on paper, and his only hope for a W in this one is if Matt Prater can kick ten 50 yard FG's. I just don't see where the points are going to come from this week for the No ACLs.

PREDICTIONS:
Winner: The Commodore 64s
Man of the Match: Lamar Miller bounces back against the Jags, 80 Yds and 2 TDs
Worst Performer: Frank Gore gets outpointed by the recently cut and unemployed Colts RB Vick Ballard, immediately wished he didn't back out of the Eagles deal.

Photo Credit: Pat Murphin's Facebook

Bonnie Johnson is a Saint!!!! Vs The Meat Wallets

I hate both of these teams.

PREDICTIONS:
Winner: Tie
Man of the Match: Definitely not Doug Martin
Worst Performer: I would like to say Doug Martin, but CJ Anderson already played and ran for a whopping 27 yards

WHEEEEEEEEE, I'm an airplane!....No wonder JR drafted this guy

MBJ vs Halls Mentho Lyptus - now with penetrating vapors

Despite owning the top 2 WR's from Week 1, MBJ is not favored in this matchup. This one will most likely be a tight game, and will most likely be decided by the RBS. Hallsy has a huge advantage in this department, with Hill Lacy and Forsett going up against Deangelo Williams, Chris Johnson and Rashard Jennings. Hallsys advantage on the ground should be enough to overcome the damage MBJ does in the air.

PREDICTIONS:
Winner: Halls Mentho-Lyptus
Man of the Match: Marcus Mariotta throws for 4 more TDS while riding MBJ's bench. Jenkins, while sad for not getting those points, feels vindicated and texts everyone a picture of his dick to prove how good of a Fantasy GM he is.
Worst Performer: Chris Johnson - There is just no way Flava Flav gets more than 40 Yards.

911 is a Joke in Your Town